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 Post subject: joke!!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:57 pm 
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Marksman
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A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."

Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."

Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"

Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."

The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.

Mom : "Now what do I do?"

Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some *i-need-a-broader-vocab* ice cream."


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 3:29 am 
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It would be a good joke if the "Sexist ye'r mom" jokes weren't so cliche, as they unfortunantly our in my social life. :roll:

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:33 am 
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lol!!

you got some more jokes dude?,
that whas pretty funny,

mwhahaha

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:06 am 
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Dragonathan wrote:
lol!!
you got some more jokes dude?,


As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:08 am 
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Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:19 am 
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was *I need a large hot beef injection ♡*!” and rode off as fast as he could.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:34 pm 
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speaking of plane crash jokes...

three people are in a plane. the pope, a lawyer, and a schoolboy. the plane starts losing altitude, and the pilot grabs one of the three parachutes. the other passendgers fight over the rest, and the lawyer says
"I am very smart, and therefore, I must live" so he jumps out.
the pope than says to the boy: "I have lived a long, wholesome life, you may take the last parachute, and may god be with you."
"wait..." the boy exclaims," you can have the other one. the lawyer took my backpack."

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:10 am 
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TCE joke

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:49 pm 
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*sigh*

There are two guys out golfing, one seems to be having a bad day.

"Ugghh!!!", the one guy says to himself as he angrily hits the golf ball.

The other guy says, "What's the matter dude?"

"I think my wife is cheating on me. It's been bothering me all day."

"Well, I'm an Assassin if you ever need me to... 'get things done'.", the man responds.

"No, you ain't serious. Your no hitman."

The guy in order to proove this pulls out a sniper rifle from his golfing bag.

"Woah, I guess you aren't kidding. Let me see that, I think I can see my house from here", he says taking the sniper rifle and looking into the scope. "Hey, there's my wife... naked. And my neighbors there... naked too... Goddamnit, I kill that bitch! How much you charge?"

The hitman smiles, "I charge $1000 per shot."

"Okay, I'll give you $2000. I want you to shoot her in the mouth and him in the dick."

The hitman agrees and he holds up his sniper rifle for a minute... two minutes... five minutes...

"What's taking so long", the guy asks.

"Wait a second dude, I'm going to save you $1000."


:lol:
~Silentcrisis

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:09 am 
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lol 8) sadistic yet........................................... right.... :shock:

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:00 pm 
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Awesome jokes lads! All of ya' :D :D :D

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