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|Author:||Evil_Muska [ Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:39 pm ]|
|Post subject:||Need some......advice...|
uggh.... god this is embarrassing....but......... could somebody give me some dating advice?
I'd go to someone like a friend, or maybe even my dad, but beleive you me, he's no romeo (and my friends probably wouldn't take me seriously).
I know this isn't some dating service forum, but I've really hit a brick wall here.
Ok here we go.....
(forgive me if I rant on and on and on)
I've been flirting with this girl at my work (pizza place, for those who don't know) for a good while now, and I've only really been doing so because she seems to be showing an interest in me.
When she first got hired there, I noticed her immediately, but she didn't really seem to notice me...... but after a while she began to get a bit more friendly and more comfortable around me, and we eventually started actually flirting. After a while, the first confusing situation popped up..... she was done with her shift and was waiting for her ride (mom) at the entrance of the store, while I was cutting pizzas at the oven.... then we had a short conversation that went like this.....
Me: 'leaning around the cutting area to look at her' Yeah?
Her: Do you want to be my friend?
Her: 'small giggle' I said "Do you want to be my friend?"....
Me: Umm... sure.
That was a good while ago.
Well we continued flirting, and things seemed to get farther along....
most of it is done either folding boxes up front, or passing each other in the narrow little hallway in the back that leads to storage (and also contains the map drivers use to plan our delivery routes).
Two of the most notable occasions (both have occured multiple times) are her bumping into me in the hallway, and then pushing on me (with her back) and saying "Move, Boy!" (in a playful tone of corse), and also her messing with me when I'm on the phone with a customer.
Ok, enough of that, let's get on to the things that have actually left me confused enough to ask people on a gaming forum .....
2 things happened at the end of last week on the same day within a real close time frame.
The first of the two happened as follows in the same area as the last one (cutting table area) only this time she was right on the other side of it putting lables on boxes, and we were almost face to face.
'we were in some sort of coversation that has slipped my mind, and then'
Her: 'giggling and smiling a lot from what I had just said'..... you have a cute smile..... 'moves out of my view to label another box'
Me: 'I just sit there thinking.... "OMG, she just.... holy crap! what do I say!?!" '
Her: 'quickly swinging back a second later' Did you hear what I said?
Me: 'grinning a bit' Yeah, yeah I heard it....
'she then grins back and gets back to her work'
A couple seconds later she tries to cross through the cutting area, still grinning, and I hold the pizza scooper....or whatever.... thing in front of me and tell her she can't go through here. She laughs and goes around the other way.
Ok, now here's where I'm stumped.....
later on she was waiting for her ride to show up (again) and I was rolling some stacks of dough trays up to the front cooler..... then, right as I was rounding the corner to open the cooler she yells to me where some other guy and my boss could hear her....
Her: 'grinning' You know I'm in love with you, right?
Me: Umm......... whatever......
She then lays her head face-down of the front counter (which she was peeking over) and laughs a little.
Ok, I'm done...
So what do you guys think?
How could she mean what she said when she wasn't acting anywhere near serious and never brought it up again or explained herself? (and she's not a shy girl either, so it couldn't be that)
I'm going out of my mind thinking about it and if I don't figure out what to do soon I'm going to burst!
|Author:||it [ Fri Dec 01, 2006 11:22 pm ]|
ask her out. what's the worst that can happen? (but do an oldie like, hey, I hear "blah the movie" is good, wanna see it?
|Author:||Death Touch [ Fri Dec 01, 2006 11:51 pm ]|
Ask her out, Evil. Don't be a chicken shit about this.
You like her, it seems like she likes you.
You have to go for it.
Don't hesitate or maybe she'll think you're immature and inexperienced with women. These are (among others) real turn offs for women, as you know.
Be nice, be respectful always. Oh................a big one......don't freakin' lie to her. About anything. Ever.
You are either yourself, and comfortable with it ("warts and all" as they say), or you are alone with yourself. You either get the girl by being yourself, or you do without. Don't ever lie. Just don't.
(This applies if you are really interested in a real romance with a woman, not just physical gratification. That's an area that is up to each man to decide on his own. If you have to lie to a woman to get her in bed, that's on you.)
Ask her things about her. What are her hobbies? What music or movies does she like? Show her your interest and that you want to get to know her, not just her private parts. You'll never get farther if you don't know how to act with her, and don't know how to "read" her.
Start talking to her about things other than work.
Be yourself, and be confident in yourself.
She's already shown interest in you.
Show her that you are interested in her.
Look her in the eye. Make her feel that you're really interested in her. She needs to know where she stands with you, and she needs to feel safe with you. Then should you ask her out, she will remember what a respectful, funny, likeable (people like to hang out with witty , easy going, non judgemental people who can start conversations and not be awkward about it) guy you are and she'll feel comfortable in saying "Yes".
|Author:||-Aequitas- [ Sat Dec 02, 2006 3:05 am ]|
Hmmm… I don’t really remember a girl doing the first steps with me or with most guys I know, usually they try to give you clues when there interested in you, but they never say they love you that fast… Unless I didn’t read you’re story well…I think you should try, you got nothing to loose, but she seams suspicious (like weird… well to me there all weird…no offence to any girls around, because anyway the weirder they are the more attracted I am to them ).
don't freakin' lie to her. About anything. Ever. <- And this OMG is it ever true and no mather how stupid it is always tell the truth...
|Author:||Shiro013 [ Sat Dec 02, 2006 10:47 pm ]|
Unless you have genital warts or something, it's ok to lie about that, until later, when you have to tell her, but only after your married, then it's ok. >.> Lol, my advice is the best aint it.
But yeah, go ahead, ask her out, if she says no, punch the wall later, break your hand, and forget about it, the pain is excruciating, trust me. You'll forget all about it.
|Author:||JesusFreak [ Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:38 am ]|
"and she's not a shy girl either," REALLY?!?!? I would have never guessecd
I personally think you had a great opportunity when she said she liked you. N dont go do "it"... you will screw up your marriage and your kids will hate you
|Author:||Silentcrisis [ Sun Dec 03, 2006 2:43 am ]|
Ask her out, if all goes well, you two could have great times.
But if it has a rough start that doesn't seem to get any better, end it before it destroys her and you.
Although I'm not the greatest when it comes to dating and being relationships. That's because I'm too use to just messing around with girls instead of dating them and putting up all the love crap they shove in your face.
But hell, go for it. The worst thing that could happen is that you get her pregnant... Just remember to 'wrap it before you tap it'... But seeing that's sort of irrelevant to the task at hand, I'll just come up with some quick remark that'll make you think I know what I'm talking about.
I'll get back to you on that one. XD
|Author:||Traumahawk [ Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:54 am ]|
|Author:||-ATHF-FryLock [ Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:44 am ]|
The best thing to do when asking a lady out is to simply ask her out, and if she says no bash her in the head with the lead pipe that you were hiding behind your back. Then you can have your way with her. However, you may be to much of a wuss to do it that way (Please note the sarcasm). If so, then you may not want to take advice from me.
Me and my lead pipe have had some good times. It's times like this I regret letting him be held as evidence.
|Author:||-Aequitas- [ Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:06 am ]|
Me and my lead pipe have had some good times. It's times like this I regret letting him be held as evidence.
|Author:||Shiro013 [ Mon Dec 04, 2006 4:43 am ]|
oh my. so happy I'm a guy, afraid I'd run into you because we all know I'd be extremely hot if I were a girl. >.> BUT............... I'm not so oh well.
|Author:||XenoKiLLer [ Mon Dec 04, 2006 8:57 pm ]|
Im not really the expert in this either..As much as I can say, this isnt really the right forums... maybe a forums like uhm,, I dunno.
Anyway - this isnt my profession - like well, I avoid getting that in my mind as somesort of thing I have to do because it only makes me ineffiecient - although I do so occassionaly - like 3 to 4 girls at a time lol.. im just kidding... just 1.
I know SC is an expert at this though - or so my inside men (and women) say so.
I guess Diane should be able to help you on this, as for the rest of us, especialy me (who is rather always busy working on something), cant trust what we say.
|Author:||<TCF>Buschman [ Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:19 am ]|
Its worth a try, just try to be friendly with her, cheer her up when she feels down, y'know. Just don't rush into things man, keep things under control, notice I didn't say 'keep it slow' because you just might be more comfortable with moving the relationship along a little faster than I might. Just remember not to go _too_ fast.
You can skip the rest of this post unless you want a long read.
While I might just seem like another lectuer, hiding behind the internet and my keyboard, I just want to be honest with you.
I have only ever dated 2 girls.
No, seriously, I'm 18 and have only ever dated 2 girls.
The first one. Well, lets say I wasn't being 'myself' around her, I was lieing to her, always trying to impress her somehow, but I'd never done anything I said, so it really never got past the second movie date.
The second one, I will be honest, I did not lie. I was true to what people had told me, all this "Don't *i-need-a-broader-vocab* lie to her. No matter what." Serisouly, its the truth. You CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT keep a relationship of any kind together for any lengthy time if it is based on lies. The relationship with this particular girl lasted 2 and a half years. Yep, but by then we had to break it off due to Uni and stuff. Anyway, suffice to say that she was my first time, and I do not regret it.
Moving on: I have but a few pointers, some I have found out the easy way, some I have been told, and some I have found out the very painfully hard way...
Keep in mind these are in no particular order, they are all as important as each other: its just as I think of them I type them.
1. Be yourself.
I know its easy to say, and everyone has that nagging voice "but what if she doesn't like me for who I am" Yeah, I know man, I know how that feels. But trust me on this: Girls can learn to like things about you no matter how *i-need-a-broader-vocab* up they seem to be, but only if you can admit it. Yes, I like anthropomorphic porn, thats me. If you don't like it, well I'm not going to stop liking it, but I will do my best not to shove it in your face.
2. Do not be judgemental about the way she is.
Its a two way thing man, if she is going to have to put up with you, then you are going to have to put up with her. Well on a serious note, everyone has their flaws, and you just have to get over them, because I can guarantee you that there may well be that one person that is just MADE for you, but the chances you will even SEE that person in your lifetime, let alone find their name out, or even wave at them, are astronomical. 6 billion people in this world man, while I say its very unlikely, there is always that chance.
3. Do. Not. Lie.
I'm not going to go over why, its explained above. Just a word of sympathy; I know how easy it is to lie, hell why do you think I've only had two girlfriends in my entire life? Because I used to lie about nearly everything about me. Some people can just tell when others are lieing, some take a little longer to figure out after they do the math (You are a drummer? Well why can't you show me? I've even got a drum set for you!) Others can take a much longer time, but everyone finds out in the end one way or another. Its just the universal law.
This one is self explanitory, girls are not objects. They are not 'things' to be used and exploited by men, they just aren't. They are human *i-need-a-broader-vocab* beings. Your girlfriend does not just have to be someone you like to have intercourse with, or that you just go to the movies with, they can become truely close friends. There for support, there for that hug that means a thousands words. Do not be afriad to open up to them, honesty is one of the greatest privilages a relationship can have. Besides, unless you are lieing about something, then what do you have to fear? This may sound like I'm saying pour your heart into them on the first date. Heck no man, you have to first get the respect there, the trust which is built up by simply being friends, hanging out, then you move on to the next steps.
5. Try to find out what kind of a person she would like you to be.
I know this sounds like I'm saying "Find out, then LIE SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU ARE" but thats not it. What I'm saying is, does she like overly obsessive devotion? Does she like a bit of slack? Does she like to be showered with gifts? Does she like to pick the dirt from her toenails and throw them at grannies? Would she want you to keep her company while she flicks her toenail dirt at grannies? Y'know, find out her habbits and persona, likess and dislikes.
6. Be self confident.
There is honestly nothing more of a turn off than a whimpering sobbing pathetic excuse of a male for girls. Serisouly. YOU ARE NOT THAT UGLY. Unless you got hit with a medieval spiked MACE when you were born - REPEATEDLY - then for christs sake you are not ugly. Just because you think you are. Take some god damn pride in the way you look. If you want to be scruffy, then fine, but at least be scruffy in a clean way, rather than an unwashed way. And... well you should get my drift here. Dress how you want, but don't put your personal hygiene at the bottom of your 'list of importance'. I'm sure no girl would want to kiss you if you had bad breath, let alone go down on your unwashed package. Thats just gross.
Man my fingers are aching. Thats two long posts in what 30 mins?
Anywho, if nothing else I wish you luck, and hope I have helped in some tiny way.
Life sucks man, but sharing it with someone always means you can help each other deal with the suckage.
|Author:||XenoKiLLer [ Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:36 am ]|
hey dont worry about him, im 17 and I havent. I dunno why but Id rather stick to being friends with anyone and not dive right into something until I hacve finished what I want to do - get a job in the video game industry.
|Author:||Evil_Muska [ Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:49 pm ]|
Thanx to everyone for all their advice (even those simply posting that they can't give me any, I still appreciate it).
I have to give a couple extra nods to Death Touch and Buschman for going that extra mile.
Ok and now for an update, seeing as I have become the forum's drauma story (thanx to my excessive ranting and detail).....
The last day of work last week (Sunday), I decided to try and take my first big step, so I went in immediately (and casually) scanning the store for her.
Since I had to go into the back room to get the sign for my car, I knew that I would be able to look everywhere without seeming too obvious.
I quickly realized that she had to be in the back, so I walked right in, and sure enough, there she was box-topping (that's where we put the coupons on the boxes before we fold them). I continued on towards my sign and asked her how she was, and she simply said she had been working till "such-and-such this morning" and she wanted to go home. I laughed softly, exited, put the sign on my car, then logged in. I realized that she was going to be back there box-topping by herself for a long time, and I absolutely had to take this perfect opportunity.
I began nervously checking to see if all the things to be done up front were already being done, and to my surpise they were (plus no pizzas were even being made, so I literally had nothing to do)!
I then sucked it up and went back into the back room.
I asked her if she needed any help and explained to her quickly that there was absolutely nothing to work on up front. She said "Sure," and we went to work.
We were standing basically shoulder-to-shoulder the entire time, I was holding the boxes up (picture one half of a deck of cards being bent up next to the other fixing to be shuffled on a flat surface, and you'll get what I mean) and she was spraying it with glue, then slapping the coupon on.
I started out talking about how cold it was that morning (19 degrees ), and she mentioned she was originally from Michigan and that she was used to the cold, so I asked her when she moved here, and then the conversation just took off from there. We talked for, I would say, 30+ minutes before the assistant mannager (woman) came in and called my name in a weird way (she also had a grin on her face, I'm guessing because she had been through the back room earlier to get something). I asked her what she wanted, and she told me my run was out.
I asked her why she hadn't just said that in the first place (like she usually does), and she just grinned bigger and said "I dunno, I just didn't feel like it,". I took my ticket, rolled my eyes (behind her back of corse, she can be a real bitch about that kinda thing), and went on to delivering.
I checked her schedule later while I was looking at mine, and saw that she started back work Thursday (I start back Wednesday) and worked through the rest of the week (same as me).
My plan is to try and slowly keep things progressing the way they are now, and then try asking her out Saturday or Sunday.
Just a little thing to note: I'm not in this for the physical side of it (I don't need to have a kid before I can support one), I'm interested in getting me someone I can really connect with so I can get over my depressive slump and so my friends can quit bashing me about it (If I get together with this girl then I'll, at the very least, have been with someone hotter than any of their girlfriends have been, not my main concern mind you, but certainly a pirk ).
Oh yeah, and I was talking with my best friend recently, and I don't remember exactly how, but I let the news slip out. Actually, I found that finally admitting to someone (someone that isn't online, It's easier to type stuff then to actually say them) didn't bother me much.
He congratulated me and we went on discussing it a little bit more (me telling him a short version of the story I just told you, and him telling me "Way to go, man!").
This alone has given me loads more confidence (aside from the fact that in the back of my mind I know my other friends are gunna find out about this soon ).
Again, thanx for all your support, and wish me luck!
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